June 12 Editorial

This weekend, my friends and I headed out to one of my favorite spots on the planet….Pirate’s Cove. If you don’t know about this little gem, it’s a hole in the wall kind of place nestled in a waterfront cove that boasts amazing music, delicious food, and best of all….the most awesome crowd of rednecks with money you’ll ever see.
I was giddy with excitement for our first voyage of the season to the mecca of all boat beach party hangouts. We pulled up, and as always, the place was packed. Kids of all ages were jumping like wild maniacs from the docks into the shallow water, and the stench of greasy cheeseburgers lingered in the air. I jumped from the boat to the dock and made a beeline for the bushwacker machines, careful not to step on one of the rogue dog’s tails.
I sidestepped about twenty four-legged pals before making it into the “no shoes, no shirt, no problem” joint, and admittedly was disappointed to find that the new bathroom facilities were now a big step up from the original, where you had to hold the door for lack of a lock while trying not to fall through the hole in the floor where a drain had once been. This place was getting fancy.
A cold bushwacker in hand, we met up with more friends and jumped in the water for an afternoon of lazy lounge time. While floating around, I noticed a few things about this place that make it so cool.
1) The dogs own the joint. People are just lucky they get to hang here. I swear I saw them taking shifts begging for food around the tables. Fluffy and Max worked table 2 and 4 then rotated with Skipper and Spot every fifteen minutes so that nobody got too comfortable with their sad eyes. The scary part is…..it works. Humans are easy.
2) There were millions of dollars’ worth of boats parked on the beaches but whether you arrived on a yacht or a dingy, once you stepped on the beach you were all friends. It was like “Oh, you like Pirate’s Cove too? Did we just become best friends? Yup!”
3) You may be rich enough to have champagne and caviar every day, but when you’re at the Cove…..you’re going to eat that burger and onion rings. Don’t care who you are….if you don’t like their greasy food, you are un-American.
4) Just because you have a little money doesn’t mean you’re not a redneck. I saw more NASCAR t shirts and Roll Tide stickers on boats that cost more than most people’s houses than I care to recall.
5) Rednecks with money are fun. Say what you want about them, these guys know how to have fun. They drink like fish, dance like nobody’s watching, and welcome you to their party with open arms. Just don’t bring up college football and you’ll be fine.
6) You can get really up close and personal with the wildlife. While swimming in the channel several people had close encounters with passing dolphins, and one poor Labrador retriever got the scare of his life when he swam out for his tennis ball and was met by a dolphin less than two feet from him. He panicked and turned for the shore, but quickly went back for his ball. No man left behind. I like that attitude.
If you haven’t been to Pirate’s Cove and a laid back, friendly day on the boat where even your furry family members can have fun, check it out immediately. Whether you’re a city type, billionaire, or just plain redneck royalty, everyone has a good time here. And you can be sure you’ll be welcomed with open arms…and probably a few beers.
Hooray summer!!!